Coming of Apocalypse
by Baniita
Summary: Crackfic/satire. Yullen, Lucky, RhoLena. "Moommmyyyy!" a small child passionately cried out, happily running towards Allen with her arms open. Every single finder in the cafeteria gaped, crying out a loud "MAH?" like that yakuza dude from Ouran.


"Mommmyyyy!" a small child of approximately 9 cried, running towards Allen happily with her arms open .

"Ehhh?!?!!!" Allen yelled, immensely confused.

All the finders in the cafeteria, and a few finders popping out from a nearby window all went "MAH?" like Bossanova from Ouran. Link was just as bewildered as Allen.

"Mommy, I missed you..." the child said cutely with small tears in her eyes.

"C-CUTE!" Allen thought. On closer examination, he thought it was really strange that the child had silver-white hair, just like him, exept her hairstyle was a bit longer and girlier. "Uhh... I'm sorry, but I'm not your mommy... What's your name?"

The girl held onto the end of his collared shirt. "Mana..." she mumbled. Her right arm was ivory white.

Allen's eyes went wide in shock and nostalgia. "O-Okay! I'll be your mommy!!" Allen cried in euphoria.

The finders were watching intently, but were sweating like a husband that's been accused of cheating on his wife. One of the finders asked loudly, "but... who's the daddy?"

Mana paused. Then she pointed to the next person in line, Kanda.

Yet again, all the finders went "MAHHHHH?" Link shook his head, how could that be possible?!

Kanda had no idea what's going on, but he looked around to try and figure it out.

Allen panicked. "I'm sorry Mana, but I cannot be your mommy," he said, turning his back on her.

Mana immiediately activated her cute beam. "B-but..."

Allen tried not to look at her. But those wide, beautiful, turquoise-blue eyes... "Too... CUTE!" he thought.

"Oi, pops. I thought we were supposed to go fishing toda-" a small boy spoke to Kanda, before cutting off to a new sentence. "WHAT!! HOW DARE YOU MAKE MANA CRY!! WHAT KIND OF MOTHER ARE YOU?!" he screamed at Allen. The boy looked just like Kanda.

Allen thought the world was going to end. (So why is his face red?)

Kanda was frozen in shock.

Most of the finders faint in blood loss.

Link spoke up. "Allen Walker. This is unnacceptab-"

Yullen cut him off, just like Kanda would. "Shut up."

---

"So, your name is... Yullen." Allen asked after attempting to calm himself down.

"Yeuuup." Yullen replied, sheathing his silver katana.

"You... look just like Kanda. And... those... eyes!" Allen pointed.

"No duh." the younger boy of approximately 12 of age rolled his eyes. They were a breathtaking mirror-like silver, just like Allen's.

"A-and... you act just like Kanda!!" Allen said, more trying to convince himself.

Yullen shook his head.

Mana rose her left hand towards Kanda. "Daddy... please carry me..."

Kanda could not say no. How were you supposed to say no to such a cute kiiddd?!!?

---

"Daddy... let's play cards?" Mana asked Kanda, tilting her head cutely.

Kanda froze up again, thinking how much Mana looked like his moyashi.

So, the family had poker night.

And in sync, Allen and Mana put down their cards. "Straight Royal Flush!"

Allen looked at Mana, and wailed. "Ohhh, you truly are my child!!" Hearts beamed from him everywhere... Mana had a sinister look on her face. Muahahhaha.

Kanda had a look of horror on his face. He was in deep shit now. He looked at Yullen, who he hoped was doing atleast a little better than him, atleast.

"Uhh... They sorta came out like this." Yullen put his cards down--it was also a straight royal flush. What the hell? Why on earth was he always so lucky? He's so dumb he doesn't even know how to play!!

---

Allen and Kanda knocked on Komui's office door intently. "Komui, we need to speak to you..."

"Do come in." The voice that responded, however, sounded nothing like Komui...

The door was unlocked, so they opened the door and stepped in.

On the desk sat a girl that strangely reminded Allen of Rhode. Why was there a whip in her hand? Sitting behind the desk, posing professionally, sat a small boy of around 12 with slightly curly, ruby red hair. "State your business," the child demanded. Komui was knocked out sleeping on the couch, hugging his Lenalee-pillow.

Suddenly, the red-head stood up abruptly. "Mana!!" he beamed, then he looked at the other kid following the strange couple. "And... Yullen..."

"W-what did you do to Komui..?!" Allen accused dramatically, slamming his hands on the table.

"Eh, I just slipped in a few sleeping pills in his coffee. He's happily dreaming in lala-land," the boy said casually.

Kanda looked at his nametag. "Komui Lee" was tossed into the garbage bin, and was replaced with "Lucky Mikk". Mikk?! MIKK?! This was that creepy Noah's kid!! What is he doing here?!

Lavi barged in the door. "Kommuuuuiiii! I heard that there's a mini Kanda and Allen in this place--is it truuueee?! Did Yuu-chan finally knock the moya- er..."

Kanda fumed. Both he and Yullen threw their swords at him. "Don't call me or moyashi that!!"

"Oh boy. Mother, I thought father would have already kidnapped you. Sigh, I'm so much better of an everyone-nizer than he is."

"M-mother?!! Tyki and Lavi a-are... Together?!" Allen said, blushing. "Lavi-- how could you!! Sure, you two would look good togeth--gah! That's not the point! He's our enemy!!!"

"What? I-Uh... Noooo!!!" Lavi blurted out in tears. "I hate him! I hatteee himmm for what he did to you, my bestest buddy-but-whaaa! I couldn't help ittt! He raped meeee!"

"Mother, you can't rape the willing. That's a well known fact," Lucky stated.

"You can always rape someone if they're willing to pretend to fight you off," the girl beside Lucky said grinning.

"Sigh, you're so sadistic, Nero. You're definitely Rhode and Lenalee's child."

Nero giggled in response.

Komui woke up screaming. "LENALEEEEEE! YOU HAD A CHILD AND DIDN'T TELL MEEE-- Oh wait- Isn't Rhode a girl?"

---

Alright, I'm too lazy to write in the rest, so I'll just explain. XDD"

Mana has white-silver hair to her shoulders, and has bright blue eyes. She's 9, 3 years younger than her older brother, Yullen. I wanted to call her Alice, too, but my partner in crime (the-funny-looking-lady) wouldn't let me. :C So we decided it'll be her middle name. Her Innocence is on her right hand instead, and is ivory white. Her sword isn't a big broadsword, but is a long sword. Her instrument of choice is the flute? She acts like her mother, Allen. She can cheat. In ANYTHING. Even in ring toss. If not, she charms them. She has a brother complex.

Yullen is 12. He has ashen long black hair, and silver eyes. Yullen is a tacky name, but I wanted to use it. = u=" He wields a katana just like his father, but the handle is silver instead. All of it is silver, actually. But it's definitely a lot stronger than silver. His instrument of choice is the violin. He acts like Kanda. Where Mana is concerned, he has a sister complex like Komui does. He has a "list". Bad things happen to people on the list. Some people on it include Lucky (for hitting on his sister), Chaoji, Link, Komui, Lavi, etc.

Lucky has Tyki-curly hair, but the colour is red like Lavi's. He's 12. He's only nice to Mana. He has a fiance, Nero. Though they have a deep, intimate relationship, it doesn't have too much love in it. He's an everyone-nizer like his dad. His second concubine is Jan. (Haha.) His third is Eeze (Tyki scolds him for this, but he has no control whatsoever in his own son). His thirteenth concubine is Timothy. Oh yes. He went there. He's mostly gay, but makes a full exeption for Nero. He acts like a combination of Kyoya Ohtori and Tamaki Suoh from Ouran. Haha! He's extremely intelligent, but has extremely bad timing. (Thus, has walked in on Tyki and Lavi several times.) He has stocks, he sues everyone and acts like a grownup. He has half-moon phases upon which he craves cheesecake among other things.

Nero is one of the newest additions. XD" Sorry for all the gay! And yes, Rhode is the FATHER. O _O" Lenalee is the mother. She acts like a sexy mistress. 8'D Carries around sex toys. 


End file.
